November 23, 1966
After reading an excerpt from the debate with Death:
If God there is he cares not for the world;
All things he sees with calm indifferent gaze,
He has doomed all hearts to sorrow and desire,
He has bound all life with his implacable laws;
He answers not the ignorant voice of prayer.
Eternal while the ages toil beneath,
Unmoved, untouched by aught that he has made,
He sees as minute details mid the stars
The animals's agony and the fate of man:
Immeasurably wise, he exceeds thy thought;
His solitary joy needs not thy love.
Yes, but we need his joy.
All this was said to me this morning. Absolutely the same thing (with different words, but the very same thing), and not “said”: lived, as if I were shown the thing so as to feel it. And I said, “Why? Why this test? What's the use?” It was my body that said, “What's the use?” Then it stopped.
I said, “Why? What does it all mean?” I didn't contradict, didn't argue, just this “What's the use?” (Mother gestures as if to sweep away a speck of dust)
You know, what the consciousness of this body is made to live is a sort of intensive discipline, at a gallop – every minute counts.
But it copes well, I can't deny it.1
We'll see how it stands the shock (that's quite the point!).
So this other Gentleman [Death] would say, “See! See there, the kind of pity people have for you!” But I answer, “I don't need pity.... (laughing) That's not what I want: I want the victory.”
Oh, if you knew what a crowd there is!... And at the last minute, people come and tell me, “I've just arrived, I want to see you.” Very well, I say, “All right.” We'll extend the day! (Mother laughs)
Ah, good-bye, my children, stay very quietly at home. Very quietly. It's enough if there is one who “toils”! I'd really like it to be that way, I regret it's necessary for some to be ill,2 why?... Oh, I know why, but... It's a pity.
It's the Grace learning its lesson. It learns that It isn't yet as It should be.... You understand, there are always two ways of looking at things; we can say, “The world isn't ready” and look at it with a smile (it's a... what can we call it?... We could call it a selfish way), and the other way, which is to say, “I am not capable yet. If I were really capable, all this [illnesses, catastrophes, etc.] wouldn't be necessary, everything would be done in a harmonious rhythm.”
We could very well say, “The Divine is learning his lesson.” (Laughing) He has everything to learn! When He knows it well, the world will be as it should be, that's all.
Why not? We could just as well say that: the one is as true as the other.
1 It must be recalled that the next day is Darshan and therefore Mother is overburdened with visitors and letters.
2 Several disciples close to Mother are ill, in particular her close attendant.