April 30, 1966
(Regarding very generous disciples who send soup packets to Mother, who in turn gives them to Satprem:)
They are two old ladies, of German origin, but Jewish. In Germany, they still aren't kind at all; Hitler's influence has been disastrous, the Jews are still treated with contempt – it's disgusting, utterly disgusting. So these ladies went to Israel. They are very generous. But some people still have prejudices, you know!
In France, with Pétain, there was that grotesque affair of the “yellow star”; I think it has also left a very bad imprint.
There are people to whom I wouldn't give these packets, because they'd immediately think it's very bad!
Men are still worse than children – worse. So small, so petty, with stupid biases.
Just this simple thing of being impartial, neutral and perfectly sincere, without bias towards experiences, towards life, towards things – just that they can't have! There is always a sort of petty bias, of preference in the background.
And all that is accumulated in the subconscient, and it comes back in the form of “dreams.” And naturally (that's quite a common experience, which is known to all those who are even slightly familiar with the play of occult forces), when someone in your dream comes and gives you blows and attacks you, it's absolutely sure that you've had bad thoughts for him – bad thoughts or bad feelings. That's what comes back to you in that form. But they will say on the contrary: “See, I was right to have bad thoughts for him: he comes and attacks me”!
Just like children, completely ignorant.
Mother takes up “Savitri”
Then disappointed to the Void he turns
And in its happy nothingness asks release
That's the Nihilists: Shankaracharya and so on, the worshipers of Nothingness.
The worshipers of Nothingness... I don't know, the farther I go, the more I have a sense of a... very, very sweet, very full Nothingness, but still a Nothingness. It's absolutely void, yet it's full, and very sweet, but there's nothing.
You are playing on words.
Ultimately, this taste for Nothingness is the most harmonious way to put an end to the ego. It's the ego coming to an end. It's, yes, the most harmonious way, the higher way to put an end to the ego. It's the ego coming to an end.
It is tired of being. Instead of feeling killed and crushed (Mother makes a gesture of self-abandon), phew!... A “phew” of relief: “Enough, enough of this battle to exist.” We could say: Falsehood, tired of being, gives up.
Instead of a disappearance through crushing and trampling (same gesture of self-abandon): cease to be.
It's the divine way to annul the ego.
The ego is no longer necessary, it has finished its job, the consciousness is ready; then... (same gesture) phew! “I am tired of being, I no longer want to be.”