November 14, 1958
(Letter to Mother from Satprem)
Pondicherry, November 14, 1958
I feel disguised.1 And I detest hypocrisy – I have many faults, but not that one.
So I believe it would be better for me to leave.
Through my friends in Hyderabad, I can contact some people who are doing business in the forests of the Belgian Congo. I want to go there, alone and far away from everything.
But there is always this wretched question of money. I need it to leave and to pay for the journey. Afterwards, I will manage. Anyway, it is all the same to me; I am not afraid of anything any longer.
It seems to me that the sooner I leave the better, because of this hypocrisy I detest.2
Friday evening, November 14, 1958
One does not cure hypocrisy by pulling down below what is already above – but by lifting upwards what is still down below. To yield to an impulse of revolt is a defeat and a cowardice unworthy of a soul like yours.
Do not flee the difficulty, face it courageously and carry home the victory.
My love is with you.
1 Due to the orange robes of the sannyasi.
2 Shortly afterwards, in the last days of November, Satprem would leave the Ashram once again.