October 25, 1958
(Concerning the disciple's tantric guru)
When X does his puja, I clearly see the particular form of the Mother he is invoking – I see her descending.
Each one is in touch with the universal expression of an aspect or a will or a mode of the Supreme, and if one aspires for this, it is this that comes, with an extraordinary plasticity. And when that happens, I even become the Witness (not the witness in the way of the Purusha1: a witness far more... infinite and eternal than the Purusha). I see what responds, why it responds, how it responds. This is how I know what people want (not here below, nor even in their highest aspiration). I see it even when the people themselves are no longer conscious – or rather, not yet conscious (for me, it's “no longer,” but anyway...), when they are not yet conscious of this identification somewhere. Even then I see it.
They do pujas to all these forces or divinities, but it is not... it is not the highest Truth. What Sri Aurobindo called the true “surrender,” the surrender to the Supreme, is a truth higher than that of relying solely upon oneself.
And that is what always brings in complications, conflicts. I was surprised that the atmosphere [of the Ashram] is filled with conflict when he is here – but that is the reason.2
Why aren't people conscious of this identification while having it in a part of their being?
Between the outer consciousness and the deepest consciousness there are truly holes – which are “missing links” between states of being and which have to be built, but they don't know how to do it. So their first reaction when they go within is panic! They feel they are falling into night, into nothingness, into non-being!
I had a Danish friend, an artist, to whom this happened. He wanted me to teach him how to go out of his body. He had interesting dreams so he thought it might be worthwhile to go there consciously. I helped him to “go out” – but it was frightful!... When he dreamed, a part of his mind indeed remained conscious, active, and a kind of link remained between this active part and his outer being, so he remembered some of his dreams, but it was only a very partial phenomenon. To go out of your body means that you must gradually pass through ALL the states of being, if you are to do it systematically. But already in the subtle physical it was almost non-individualized, and as soon as he went a bit further, there was no longer anything! It was unformed, nonexistent.
So they sit down (they are told to interiorize, to go within themselves), and they panic! – Naturally they feel that they... that they are disappearing: there is nothing! There is no consciousness!
1 Purusha: the Being or the Self that witnesses and supports the Becoming.
2 The occult atmosphere of tantric pujas invokes forces that do not coincide with the completely different atmosphere and the completely different attitude of the supramental yoga.